where the pain and the hunger come from..

"Every divine grace that you are seeking with all your soul,
He showed it to you, that you might desire it...
When I cause anyone to weep, My mercy is aroused; the one who wails drinks of my bounty.
If I do not wish to give, then indeed I do not show you  the desired gift.
But when I have contracted your heart with grief, I open and expand it wth joy.
My mercy is dependant on that goodly weeping: when you weep, waves rise from the sea of My mercy."

Rumi (Vol. 2  365, 373-5)

Commentary: Our desire for grace, is proof that we are being called. Our sadness at not having what we want, or of not being who we wish to be, will someday be transformed into joy... But first.. the tears..and then the realization of  God's mercy.